Puffy-Red-Eyes

Today, I woke up like any other day (besides the fact that for some unknown reason, I woke up at 7:15 am, way before my alarm went off). I got in my car and headed to Helga's house because we were going to a Zumba class together! Since I live in Orem, it took about 15 minutes to get there and I was listening to Glen Beck. (I try to keep up a little on things going on in the real world, even though I know they are biased on talk radio.) Today every host did a show in remembrance of 9.11.01.

In most cases I am not a very emotional person. Today though, every time I got in my car, I cried. I cried because I remembered where I was that day. I cried because I remembered how I felt that day. I cried as I heard people re-telling how their day was in New York and at the Pentagon. I cried as a 12 year-old talked about her father, a first responder, whom she doesn't remember because she was only 2 when he died. I cried out of guilt for the ten years I have taken advantage of the freedom, shelter and safety that I feel.

You'd think I'd change the radio Station, but I just couldn't. I sat in the Orem City Library parking lot until a commercial, soaked up my tears and went to study. As I read chapter 4 in the communication theory and research book, I started crying again. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LIBRARY!!!  How embarrassing... Reading about qualitative research and homelessness, I also felt those same pangs of sadness. I worked at a homeless men's shelter for a year. As the author shared his notes, I remembered each of the times I was in the self-same position and felt every emotion like it was happening again.

These two experiences today have reminded me of a lot: That I DO pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and that I need to do more to show that allegiance and my appreciation for those who are more consistent at it.