Saturday, April 14, 2012

Dear Secret Crush...

Spoiler Alert*** I am going to mention the hunger games so if you don't want to hear it, move on...

So for those who know me or have read previous posts, I am not the biggest believer in the "L" word. What's the L word you ask? Well it is only the nastiest of all 4 letter words...LOVE.

I don't believe in love at first sight or that everyone has "one true love." Those are the topics for fictional books or movies with the purpose of entertaining an audience and making money.

As a member of the LDS church I have grown up seeing people go from meeting a person to married to them in 6 months... then another 9 months later (while both are still in school and don't have a career) they have a child. You would think that having grown up with this as my only exposure to what love and marriage is, that I would accept it... Well, think again.

For me love is something that takes a long time to cultivate. Especially the fact that I believe a marriage can carry on to the next life. So, how in the world can a person know they love someone after only a few months? I was an adult before I really told my family members that I loved them and you think I can tell a stranger I met 3 months ago that I love them? Get real.

I have had endless arguments with a friend of mine about having a true love. I don't believe, for one second, that we each have a person that is perfect for us. Or for that matter, that we have a given number of them, like a dozen, and we have to spend our life making sure we cross paths with at least one of them to find true happiness. I think that if I can find a person that I get along with and work cohesively with, why can't we be happy together? (After getting to know each other for a few years...)

That was just a little background on how I see love.

The purpose of this post is to point out that hollywood has it all wrong.

There are countless movies which include a leading character (generally female) who has given up on love, doesn't believe in it, or just simply doesn't care about it. Following are a few examples:

  • Eat, Pray Love 
    • Liz Gilbert goes celibate after a bad divorce 
  • The Proposal
    • Margaret Tate is too busy with her career to have time for love
  • The Christmas Carol
    • Scrooge's best friend and business partner dies leaving him depressed and lonely
  • The Grinch
    • He was hated and mistreated as a child which made his heart shrink
  • The Hunger Games
    • Katniss lives through her fathers death, mothers depression and witnesses the death of neighborhood children every year. This leaves her bitter toward the idea of love and children. 
Yes, such sad stories that have lead so many characters to shun love. Well don't worry, all of them end up with love in the end. 

As I watched The Hunger Games today I thought about how much I love Katniss' character. I see so many similarities between our personalities that I just know we would be friends. While reading the books, others complained about her attitude, reactions and blatant apathy. However, I understood her completely. Don't get me wrong, if there were mutant creatures with the eyeballs of humans running after me, I would be the first to be eaten not the first to get to safety. And, if I had to shoot a bow and arrow in order to save my life, I would probably end up shooting myself in the foot or something. I also, do not think that I am as beautiful or have as good a voice as her, but I get her. That is all I am saying. I get her. 

One thing that we have in common is that we both have reservations about love and children. (She having more reason than I.) This attitude of hers results in two guys in love with her. For years on end the son of the town baker has had a crush on her and pronounces his love for her on live TV. Another has to keep feelings held in. 

Seeing as we are so similar, where is the guy that has had a crush on me since our childhood? 
You see, to these fictional characters, this attitude is seen as a desirable, sexy or even intriguing. Instead, in the real world or rather, my world, these traits are intimidating. At least in my experience. But, if you are out there, guy with the secret crush on me, its ok, you can tell me. 

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